Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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