how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
