did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's never too late to be topless.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
