They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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