There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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