I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You were trust falling into bushes
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