And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
