I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
