I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
