The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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