dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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