you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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