quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
