im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
How's work?
Spinning.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
