i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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