Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
