absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My pussy is not your playground.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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