you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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