This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
