the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
