and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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