As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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