i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
