So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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