I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
