mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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