maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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