what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
