Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just blew my weed a kiss
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He has the fingertips of a God
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize