Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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