Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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