I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
