Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
