So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
