I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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