why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
