1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
