Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
