I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
