Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
