Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
