I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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