why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
