But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
