evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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