I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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