a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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