I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
