Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
