How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
