he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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