I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
its not stalking. its research.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize