Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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