So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
