i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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