I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
