He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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