I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
