Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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