his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
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It was a blind-side dick pic.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize