Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
