yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize