I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
