gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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