And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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