Don't you send me to vm
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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