He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
even my farts smell like vagina
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
