I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
