Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
