I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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