so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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