I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
