if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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