How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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