My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
